Houdini..........

"Squirt...................." I call and no reply where is she? All the other dogs are asleep either in their Beds in the kitchen or upstairs Jilla wags her tail and walks over to where I am stood at the back door she rubs her nose up against my legs itching her long nose and her head. I open the back door and a cold wind whistles through the kitchen. we are all ready for school and madam has to go missing.
"SQUIRT" I hear a distant bark which can't possibly be her or can it? I call her one more time.
"SQUUIIIRRRTTTTT" Purdy barks and sure enough there is scratching at the door There sits Squirt covered from head to toe in mud and other delightful thing's the smell is that of decomposing rubbish Jilla smells her and recoils she really is that bad.........There is nothing for it she will have to be showered I drag the dirty and rather unwilling Squirt upstairs to the bathroom And close the door and put the offending animal in the shower to be washed Squirt looks at me and sits she realizes what is coming......Ten Minutes Later a cleaner and sweeter smelling Squirt enters the Kitchen and now late we all head out and go our separate ways...........

The day passes without further mishap And later that evening we lock up the house and head up to bed.
Day breaks at around 6am and the girls wake and start to play I can hear them pouncing as I walk down the stairs. Opening the door to let them out they struggle to be out and down the stairs first. Upon entering the garden Jilla and Squirt play while Pierrot looks out over the top of the wall while standing on her hind legs Hoping to play Boo With any unsuspecting passer by the paperboy is a firm favourite as not only does Pierrot get the satisfaction of making him jump but when he has recovered his composure she gets a fuss and a bit of his Chocolate as well. She comes in wagging her tail happily and settles down for a snooze! The two mad ones are still outside chasing each other I make the Packed lunch's and wanting to go and get showered I call them both in. Jilla comes in and thirsty she laps a bowl of water and jumps on the sofa to have a cuddle with DH. But once more there is no sign of Squirt. Sighing I go out into the Back garden But No She has once again vanished this is becoming a habit and if we are not careful, she will at best become a nuisance and at worst either get herself killed or cause an accident. I groan as visions of both of these misfortunes flash through my head and refuse to leave.
Once again I call her Once again in the distance I hear an excited bark. It is her I strain to listen. But the road is starting to become busy as the city wakes and people begin to start the day. Just as I am climbing the outside stairs to enter the house I hear a rustling And there in the garden is Squirt ,,,,,,,,,,complete with bacon sandwich.
"Mmmm Breakfast she sits and eats where she has been I still don't know Squirt wags her tail Pleased with herself I am just glad to have her back safe and sound in one piece. Tomorrow we buy wood and wire and fix the hole in the fence I have bought some bacon scraps for pups breakfast, so she should stay put in the morning. However knowing Squirt!

Taods and Good Morning Officer!!!

I wake up and still bleary eyed look at the clock beside the bed .........it reads 3;22 Squirt bangs on the kitchen door by jumping up and crash I hear one of the dog bowls fall over. I find my slippers and plod downstairs.........I open the kitchen door to find all three pups asleep in bed .......I then open the back door and take a quick look outside all is quiet.......even the wind that has been blowing all day and well into the evening has died down. Squirt gets up and with a loud Yawn and a stretch Looks up at me and then outside.
"It's still night time."
"Yes Squirt I know what was the noise?"
"I don't know I was asleep."
"Who was banging at the kitchen door?"
"I don't know I was asleep then too."
Jilla wakes and I hold the back door open for her to go out in case she wants to.
She sits on the step at the top of the stairs and looks up at the stars she looks at me and smiles.....tongue lolling to one side.
" Wind stop no noise left"
"Well something made a crash" I look around to see if I can see anything. But nothing seems out of place tired and puzzled I lock up the house the pups go back to bed and so do I.
I just get comfortable and warm when The door bangs again I hear Squirt bark annoyed I don my slippers and head for the kitchen again. Squirt has her back to me and she has her nose to floor at the edge of the dishwasher where there is a 3 inch gap at the bottom were the kitchen sink unit doesn't meet, If it did we couldn't open the dishwasher!
"What are you doing Squirt"
"There is something in there" My heart sinks as flash's of rodent's of all sizes go through my mind. I pick up a long wooden spoon and wiggle it around in the hole, half hopping something will run out and half fearing if it did. I feel a cold trickle of sweat and giving myself a Stern talking to I proceed to wiggle and poke till I think I feel something. Squirt meanwhile has decided that if I am up it must be morning and she wants to go outside. I give one more good poke down the side of the dishwasher when something wet and slimy jumps and brushes past my arm. Squirt is there in a instant. And sitting in the light of the kitchen is a Toad from the garden how he got in let alone trapped in my kitchen I don't know. But now came the shall we say interesting part..........how to catch him and get him outside without 4 Ridgebacks trying him out to see if toad would be a nice addition to their already varied and already extensive menu I say 4 because Purdy has now joined us in the kitchen to see what the commotion is. Jilla goes up and tries to sniff it the Toad thinks otherwise and hops out of reach Squirt is now defiantly convinced it is play time and her front paws go down and bottom goes up her tail wags furiously. She barks in excitement and the Toad does what toads do best and Jumps and hops around the kitchen The mayhem that ensues has to be seen to be believed at last I manage with lots of help from Squirt and Co to corner the Toad by the kitchen door I open the door and we almost get him outside when the stupid amphibian jumps 180 degrees in the wrong direction back into the kitchen Then I go cold I hear a voice.........
"Is everything alright there love?" I stick my head out of the door and look outside.
"Errr yes, That is yes we are alright but there is a Toad in the kitchen and it's upsetting the dogs.......Thank you officer" The local Police car upon seeing my light on and the door open thought he would stop and check. Sweet, except that Jilla hates strangers at the best of times. And Men in Particular...........So she runs at the gate Barking At this hour of the morning That is not a good idea The Policeman retreats back to his car mumbling apologies as the neighboring lights start to go on one by one I call Jilla inside and satisfied that the policeman poses no further threat she comes in.......The toad that was the cause of all the fuss has now gone. Squirt looks at me happily.
"That was fun what shall we do now"
"GO TO BED" I settle them down and I'm just about to close the Kitchen door when Down comes my Darling Husband.
"Hello Babe. How long have you been up? Have you done the lunches yet? is the kettle on?"
I look at the clock It reads 6;10
"Morning" says Squirt

The Three R's

"Hello Squirt is in a good mood today"
" That's nice Squirt what have you been up to"
"Nothing .............well not much!"
Alarm bells start to ring. When Squirt starts being cagey, it usually means that she is up to something. I decide to hide my panic and play it "Cool". I say nothing.
"What are you doing" She says
"I getting ready to go to school for the day"
"School?" Squirt looks at me with her Oh so innocent eyes "What is a school ?"
"It's were children and young people go to learn things, and be taught different subjects".
"Like what"
"The Three R's to start with"
"What are they"? Squirt asks.
"Reading Writing and Arithmetic" Squirt looks at me with an incredulous look on her face...............
"Why do they call them the three R's when only one begins with an R"
"Because the W in writing is a silent letter that mean you don't pronounce it when you say it"
"And Arithmetic?"
"Ummmm!" I cant answer that one as I don't know.............
"Squirt thinks that School sounds silly. And anyway if only children and young people go there.................Why are you going?"
Squirt ducks and runs from a flying slipper...................................."SQUIRT!"

Today is Thursday. And I have been busy helping her ladyship look after her pups......They are at home for something called half term break .......I don't know what that is, all I know is Squirt didn't break it.
Squirt gets blamed for Lot's of things and I'm not a bad dog really. Like the time his Nibs went and left the fridge door open and I went to see if I could help close it! It wasn't my fault that the Joint for dinner just happened to be on the shelf that was the same height as my mouth .......Or the time We all "helped" with her ladyships laundry We thought we would take it out into the garden and play with it...........

One very good thing about her ladyships pups being home is Squirt gets Lot's of treats and fusses Squirt likes that.........And Lots of walks we like the park nearby for that. When we have a dry day we go out for hours Pierrot goes exploring and I keep Jilla amused by giving her something to chase other than little dogs. Which tends to give the owners heart attacks. Well Squirt has to go now as there is a strange smell coming from the kitchen.........Off to investigate!

Invaders!

"Hello Squirt"
I open the kitchen door and stand back as all three girls hurl themselves at the kitchen door as I open it. Squirt bounds and all but jumps into my arms.....
"MORNING Ladyship"
Her tail wags at a hundred miles an hour. And I have a vision of a cartoon dog that wags it's tail so fast it's back legs take off making it look like a helicopter. You would think she had not seen me for a year. I open the back door and all three go out, followed by Purdy. The snow that we had last week, has turned into unrelenting rain. The garden looks like a quagmire. Squirt stands in a puddle and looks at the dog staring back up at her........
"Grrrrrrr!" The dog in the puddle growls back. Squirt rises to the challenge and barks the dog in the puddle does the same. Taken aback she runs from the puddle to the other side of the garden and checks all around to make sure the other dog has not followed her.
"Come on girls" All three come bounding up the stairs Squirt brings up the rear and she stands on the top step waiting.........
"Squirt are you coming in it's raining?"
"Squirt's on guard"
"Why?"
"From Invaders"
I look Puzzled........."Invaders?"
"That other dog invaded Squirts Garden"
"What other dog?" I check the garden but except for Squirt there is no one there.
"The dog that was copying Squirt"
"What dog Squirt?"
"The Dog in the water"
"Oh Squirt you are a silly dog"
"I know But you love me" Squirt looks at me and comes in. As she walks by the glass door to go into the hallway, she catches a glimpse of the other dog in the glass copying her again She looks and growls........Here we go again
"Squirt!"

SNOW!

" The world has gone White" Squirt pokes her nose out of the door and large Snowflakes descend. She steps onto the snow gingerly and stands there inspecting the White stuff on the ground........
"It's Snow Squirt"
"Can you eat it?"
"It will be cold" Squirt trots down the outside stairs, a little slower than her usual sonic speed as she can't tell how deep the snow is. But once down into the garden it's a different story She runs around like a being possessed. Bounding and leaping as though she has springs in her paws! She reminds me of Tigger out of the Pooh Bear Books by A.A Milne......Once Tigger Er I mean Squirt has calmed down Her sisters join her outside Pierrot looks, does what she has to do and comes in. Jilla on the other hand is standing there with a big grin on her face as she holds her head up towards the snowflakes as they land on her. Squirt is standing just underneath the tree, when a small clump of snow that has gathered on one of the branches becomes to heavy for the branch to hold.......It falls On Squirt who barks and is now trying to beat up the snow, she runs in wet and cold........ slides across the floor and with a crash comes to a stop as she collides with one of the kitchen units.......
"The white stuff is evil it's trying to take over the world and it tried to beat up Squirt"
She says this all at once without taking a breath.
"Come in and get warm Squirt"
All this before 6:30 am. And Jilla was still outside with a big grin on her face. Looking and enjoying the snowflakes.
"Come on Jilla" Jilla comes in and shakes the snow off
" Snow Pretty"
" I know....... Jilla pretty too"

Memory..........Uhmmmmm!

"Do you like my game."
"What Game Squirt?"
"The Memory Game I chose specially for all my Aunties. But especially for Auntie Karen Her Memory is not what it was........"
"Squirt dont be rude. Auntie Karen loves you"
"Yes and I love Auntie Karen but she is becoming very forgetful"
"Now where did I put that carrot!"